One week ago today we took custody of Haneul. Its been quite a whirlwind since. The meeting with the foster parents was emotional and overwhelming. It was very obvious that they loved her and cared for her as their own. We shared tears and the foster family stayed back while Beniah and I played with her. They really were wonderful and kept pointing to both Dave and me and labeling us "uppa" and "omma". She cheerfully came into the elevator with us and began playing with Beniah. I picked up her so the foster mom could give her one last hug and we left.
On the way home she studied Beniah and copied whatever he did. She loves her "oppa" and I'm so glad we decided to bring him along. She played and played that first day and crashed next to Beniah in bed (way early according to her normal bedtime, but she hadn't taken a nap all day either!). A couple hours later she woke up and cried for "omma". It was clear she didn't want me and my heart broke for her.
I had mentally prepared myself for her rejecting me. But how do you really prepare your heart for that? For a couple days she called me "unni", which means older sister. I know she wanted her foster mom and would look for her when we put her down at night. I didn't push her too much, but I would whisper to her in korean, "your mom is right here" when she cried for her. I know her heart hurt as she would often wail louder in response to me. I was torn as to how to best help her grieve.
We said good-bye to Dave and Beniah on Wed (after they were unable to travel on Tuesday due to the typhoon that canceled nearly 200 flights) and have had a couple days to ourselves. She no longer calls me unni. She sometimes calls me omma. But she let me hold her tonight and rock her to sleep. As I looked down at her tears streamed down my face and I delighted in her calmness. Our daughter is here.
9 comments:
I am filled with joy.
Thank you for sharing your story and saying yes to Jesus! Team Rasmussen can't wait to meet everyone in Team LePeau!
Aunt Susan should NOT have read this at work. My heart breaks for our sweet Haneul's loss and is overjoyed for her attachment to her amazing uppa, oppa and omma!
I talked to Beniah yesterday and he told me he was helping Dada get the house ready for Haneul. I asked what he was doing to help and he told me he's getting his cars together. What a fantastic oppa!
Aunt Susan, Beniah was a little sad to leave me and Haneul behind when he left so I told him to go ahead with daddy so he could get the house ready. How cute that he relayed that to you!! :) He really is a fantastic oppa!
Your words portray a portion of what you've been experiencing perfectly. I'm eager to hear more! I'm so very excited for your family. Praying for and love you guys!
Thank you for continuing to share your journey. It's beautiful.
Wow. Had to stop crying to write a comment. So glad you are finally holding her. We continue to pray for all of you. Love you so much. Can't wait to meet our precious niece.
Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. What an honest, but beautiful, look at the beginning of the bonding process. You have been preparing for her for a while, but she is just now getting used to the idea of you. Hang in there! We are praying for you and the bonding process. So happy for you all!
The tears kept blurring the words. Can't wait to meet her.
So sweet to see you guys and the car video! They are at such great ages to get to know each other and become great friends! Jill S.
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