the world through b's eyes

beniah got a hold of my camera recently and went crazy through our house. i started to delete them..and then i realized they were actually kind of cool.

adventures in arizona: pumpkin patch

so recently i've decided to explore arizona more. let me explain. i'm still coming to terms with the fact that we live here. my mindset my freshman year at the university of arizona was "four years and get back out". i had moved here from seoul, south korea..one of the busiest and biggest cities in the world. i took public transportation everywhere, there was always people around which made me feel safe, korea experiences four seasons, and i love a good city. tucson is pretty much the anti of all these things and i was determined not relocate after college. fast forward four years and i'm married and my husband has a job here..so we buy a house..and suddenly i feel like i'm trapped (especially since the housing market crashed shortly after).

don't get me wrong. i haven't been hating everyday of my life here. mostly just when it is unbearably hot do i think these thoughts. but after a hike last year i commented on the BEAUTIFUL sunset. dave turns to me and responds "that sunset has been here for eight years". so i've decided that as a family we will be exploring more of what arizona has to offer. and now that the weather is cooling down (here and there) i think its the perfect time to start.

we've been going to agua linda farms in amado, arizona for the past couple years and i'm glad we went back this year. to the typical hayride around the pumpkin patch, pony rides (for an additional $5/ride), and petting zoo they added a jumping castle and mini corn maze this year. we have yet to join them for their movie nights on friday and saturday night, but next year we might settle in for the kid friendly movie. their food is pretty delicious and i was particularly impressed this year. i was holding my freshly made onion rings (yum), while beniah carried his hot dog basket over to get some ketchup when i hear "mama, it fell, it fell!". i turn around and his hot dog had come unraveled from his paper and was upside down on the dirt. i was not going to buy another one-i was out of fun money-but i felt bad. i knelled down to talk with him about it and one of the workers came over and took the hot dog from me and said, "lets get you another one." i think beniah was prepared for me to tell him that we weren't going to get another one because he teared up right away and fell into my shoulder. after a second to calm him down i told him they were getting him a new hot dog. his thank you to the man who showed up with a fresh one was truly genuine-and so was mine. my standard for great customer service is pretty high since i am in the customer service business and they definitely won my business for the next coming years.

my delicious fresh onion rings

his fresh hot dog w/ketchup :)

there were crickets all over..i think b looks like a pumpkin here haha 

on the hayride w/uncle phil

the cousins and their pumpkins :)

in years past i haven't actually purchased our pumpkins there. beniah was too little to even realize if we left without one and i always thought they were overpriced. but as we were exiting i stopped to pick out two because they were actually cheaper than what i had seen at the grocery stores and i choose to put our money into a local business. and although i tried to encourage beniah to pick out a big one for himself-he choose a baby pumpkin (well, two actually..i gave in-they were so little!)

the cloud of the Lord

warning: random emotional rambling ahead

we got news last week that we will not be able to travel until after the start of the new year. our initial timeframe was presented as november - february, and like i've done this entire process i began planning for the "long shot": february. don't get me wrong-i would have LOVED to see her come home sooner, but i wanted to prepare myself (and our family) to wait and if it happened sooner that would be great! but then we received some news that lead me to believe, hey this might actually happen before the end of the year! we were truly excited. there was our mistake. we got our hopes up. and it really was disappointing to hear that we will have to wait more and possibly even longer than february.

today our little girl is turning one.

the one year birthday is a big deal in korea. on beniah's 1st birthday we did a ceremony similar to what a child would experience. and it was hard enough knowing we wouldn't be able to provide that for H as well-at least not on her actual first birthday. but i also worry that the transition will be more difficult as she ages.

in all honesty the transition is scaring me beyond belief. i've known what to expect throughout this process: paperwork, raise some money, wait, more paperwork, more money, more and more waiting... but i've become more and more anxious about the transition (mostly because) it is completely out of my control. some parts of the process are out of my control as well (like waiting on paperwork from korea), but the transition of bringing her home and us becoming a family involves real people and real emotions. scary stuff if you ask me. i've been reading toddler adoption and i find myself putting the book down every so often while my heart aches for these moments to come.

over the weekend i've gradually come to accept that God's timing is perfect. just this morning i was reminded how He leads, directing us, and is with us when things are moving or are standing still.

"Then the cloud covered the Tent of Meeting, and the glory of the Lord filled the tabernacle. Moses could not enter the Tent of Meeting because the cloud had settled upon it, and the glory of the Lord filled the tabernacle. In all the travels of the Israelites, whenever the cloud lifted from above the tabernacle, they would set out; but if the cloud did not lift, they did not set out-until the day it lifted. So the cloud of the Lord was over the tabernacle by day, and fire was in the cloud by night, in the sight of all the house of Israel during all their travels."
exodus 40:34-38

the missional mom

i have been reading some good books recently and decided some deserved a review on our blog. my list has been a combination of parenting, adoption, spiritual discipleship, with some "fun" ones throw in here and there. most of my books are recommendations from others, and this one was no exception. while at the lake this summer i had the refreshing opportunity to read the missional mom. this was recommended through a blog of an fellow adoptive mom and i ordered it right away. although i read it a couple months ago, i was reminded of it during my quiet time this morning.

not only was this book encouraging, but inspirational-it was able to put into words what i had dreamed parenting to be. she encourages the missional mom to resist cultural pressures, love "the least of these", be third-culture, engage in the needs of the world, and to create missional families. she reminds us that our primary calling is to be on mission for God, reaching those in this world.

"What I have seen time and time again, in my friend's lives, in my own life, and in the lives of countless others reflected in the Christian and secular media, is that we mothers often forget how mother hood intersects with the bigger picture of our primary calling and mission. Sometimes we replace our primary calling and mission by saying, 'Motherhood is my highest calling' or 'Motherhood is my primary mission.' When a secondary calling displaces a primary one, the confusion begins."

She goes on to reiterate, "I do not mean to devalue motherhood in the least. Motherhood is a critical secondary calling for those of us who have been given the priviledge of playing that role in a child's life. But we always need to put our role as mothers in the right context and never prioritize our secondary calling as a mother over our primary calling to know and love God."

it was a affirming and thought provoking book for me and i highly recommend it.

rain, rain.. please stay!

on thursday tucson recieved the most rain in one day in forty years..and i loved every second of it. partly because it has been so dreadfully hot that the rain is a much enjoyed break and partly because it reminds me of summertime monsoons in korea (which actually last almost 24/7 for a month or two compared to twice a week rainshowers here). in any case, beniah and i have made it a habit to go play outside once it dies down a bit.

b is 3!

i wanted to throw beniah a bash worthy of a three year old, but also wanted to keep it low cost and low stress. my initial thought was to have some people over for cake..and while looking at cake ideas i found a guitar cake, which inspired his birthday party: dance party! we frequently have dance parties in our house. our neighbors may randomly see dave or i (or joey) jumping up and down ridiculously to some random song...i wonder if they can see beniah too?

 we had glowsticks and some christmas lights up for our dance party and the kids (and adults) had a blast.

how i wish you could see the adults attempting to do the dance from the video..too good. :)

the LePeau birthday candle

b's guitar cake that inspired it all

poker night fundraiser

christe is not the only one behind on the game. a few weeks ago wayne with man tucson graciously offered to host a fundraiser card game for our adoption. it was amazing, fellowship around the card table, good food and we raised $300!

highlights included: the fight not to be first person out as whoever the lucky individual was got cursed with (i mean awarded) a j-e-t-s, jets! jets! jets! jersey, manny officiating to make sure all play was conducted in a vegas style manner, and of course the sharking juan pulled, its for charity right.

thank you all so much for the way you have blessed my family and my evening, i miss not being with you all more often. a special thanks to wayne and man tucson for hosting the event.

results: juan/team reody/ and of course myself split the first place pot and took home some classic ben wallis bulls jerseys! while john and aj rocked the jets jerseys hard!