why is it...

that every time beniah is peacful and clean everyone thinks he looks like christe and when he makes any kind of weird face people say, "ooooh, thats a dave face".

week three

i can't believe its been three weeks since beniah was born. it's definitely been a period of immense emotions-both positive and negative. we have experienced such an out pour of love from our friends & family. i think our fridge will be stocked for the next 3 months. and i'm blown away by all the generous gifts we have received. he is such a lucky child.

thankfully my little one is finally gaining weight. all babies loose weight initially, but after trying so hard to breastfeed i was devastated when the pediatrician told me i needed to supplement him with formula last week. i was starting to feel like i wasn't meant to be a mother. after not being able to go into labor naturally like i wanted, and then not being able to birth him as i wanted (instead i had a c-section) all i had left that i really wanted to do was breastfeed...and that wasn't working out. so i was frustrated, but following dave's advice i knew beniah needed to gain weight and that this decision was probably best for him. i do have to admit that i didn't do it as often as the doctor suggested-i worried about him giving up on breastfeeding completely because he would get fed from a bottle with ease compared to the breast. but after no sleep for almost 3 days straight i was forced to let him have more formula than i wanted when dave and my dad took over and made me sleep. and thankfully-he made up his weight...actually gaining a little more than 2 oz. every day (an ounce a day is typical). so its back to exclusively breastfeeding-which is why i'm writing this post at 4 am. hopefully we will be successful this time around.

soo.for lack of a better intro...more pictures :)

this is pretty much his awake face..


hanging out at the house..


bright eyes..

hmmmm...

beniah's first bears game

1st quarter: beniah eats...good start

2nd quarter: beniah takes a nap...normally ok, except when your team is playing, hes young, we will let it slide this time

half time: beniah takes a poo...always a good time for a poo

3rd quarter: beniah eats again...my son is already so mature in his football watching decisions

4th quarter: beniah cries...acceptable in extreme wins or disappointing losses, i have to say the bears beating the colts 29 - 13, the same team that took them out in the super bowl a little more than a year ago defiantly qualifies

overall grade: b + for beniah, bears and back on top!

how to loose 20 lbs in a week..

have a baby!

i'm now a mother. it's crazy to think, easier just to go through the motions for some reason. maybe because it makes him stop crying when i "mother". :)

so for those interested..the details of beniah's birth~

we had really hoped to go into labor that weekend..so we tried everything we could. spicy food....walking...pressure points...making love.. and castor oil. yes. i drank castor oil-and it brought me nothing but stomach pains. *well a little more than that but not labor* apparently, this little guy did not want to come out.

monday morning, 7 am, i was watching a hilary duff movie (we had limited channels and i figured it was a movie so it would keep my attention for awhile) in my hospital bed while pitocin dripped through my iv. by noon my contractions were very close together and were picking up intensity. i was hopeful and thought that i could even eat dinner that night if i had beniah by 5ish. but it wasn't until 7 pm that the doctor & nurses decided i was ready to push..and i did. i pushed and pushed and pushed...and by 8:30 the nurses were shaking their heads. i was exhausted-mentally and physically. he was stuck-his lepeau head was too big for my half asian body. and from the looks on the nurses faces i had stopped believing that he was actually going to be delivered this way. so at 9 pm my doctor came in a said he couldn't help with forceps or the vaccumm because he wasn't far enough down in the birth canal and that he suggested a c-section. i said yes right away-dave was surprised. going into this whole situation i told him a c-section was my last resort and he asked me if i was sure. but by then i was so exhausted that i knew it wasn't going to happen. i went into surgery and at 9:35 beniah was born. he was so stuck that the doctor had a little trouble pulling him out of me and the nurse almost had to go in and push him out from the opposite direction. guess it goes to show that i did push hard.

recovery was hard. i couldn't stand without pain or feeling like i would faint until tuesday night. and of course that was beniah's worst night...crying endlessly. poor dave paced the floor with him all night and both him and beniah crashed most of wednesday day. but by thursday i felt good enough to go home-i was missing coco & the comforts of home and frankly was tired of all the interruptions that come at the hospital. but walking out those hospital doors and putting him in the car seat was the first time i think i realized i was a mom. the hospital is safe...but now he was actually in the world.

so far i think he has adjusted well. we've had a few nights of waking up every two hours. but the night before last he only woke up once! i take it day by day. i think the planner in me needs a schedule-its hard not being able to anticipate what he needs and living in the moment. but for the most part i am rested-thanks a lot in part to my mother in law who is staying with us. she'll take him after i feed him at night so that i can go back to bed. just trying to take it a day at a time because i know its just the beginning and i know it'll fly by.

some pictures from his first week:

curled up with daddy.

cousins!!

go cubs!