adventures in arizona: winterhaven

Every winter we gather together with Dave's brother's family to walk through Winterhaven. This neighborhood has decked out their houses with lights, music, and the like for 63 years! Its one of the longest running festivals of its kind and Arizona winter weather is perfect for taking a tour through the neighborhood. It was started by CB Richards who donated lights and pine trees to be planted along the roads in 1949. Since then Winterhaven has held its festival every year except for one year during the 1970s energy crisis when the residents voted to stay dark.

We plan for it every year, but I was pretty excited as we drove over realizing this was Haneul's first time going! The cousins had a blast running around with each other and we bumped into several of Dave's current and former student athletes. I'm still coming to terms with accepting Tucson as our home, but things like Winterhaven help bring me to that reality. It tells me that Christmas time is near and coming together with friends and family alike is a heart warming Tucson tradition.

"Nephew Eric"

Corbin

Haneul

Beniah

All the kids took turns pulling the wagon...sometimes full of kids and possibly filled with Uncle Dave.

Lots of bystanders particularly liked the free ride that Uncle Dave received.

Haneul loves her cousins and insists on doing everything they do-including pulling everyone in the wagon.

We came on the Friday before Christmas and it was a popular night. There were a number of live musical performances and even a live reading of "The Christmas Carol". This particular house was also giving out hot cocoa.

Love the hand holding :)

I found this list of dispelled myths on Winterhaven's website.

Myth: Residents receive a credit from Tucson Electric Company to help cover their electrical costs during the Festival
Tucson Electric Power pays for all the electricity during the Festival
Fact: Winterhaven residents absorb any cost increases in their electric bill during the Festival.

Myth: The deed restrictions for the neighborhood require that  residents decorate for the Festival.
Fact: Decorating and participating in the Festival of Lights is all voluntary.  Most residents particpate because they love the Festival and see it as their gift to the community

Myth: Winterahaven makes money from the haywagon vendors during the Festival.
Fact: The money made by the Haywagon vendors helps to pay for the police, barricades and other items for the festival. If there is money left over a donation is made to Community Food Bank.  No money goes into the pockets of Winterhaven residents or the neighborhood association.

Myth: The Festival of Lights is a Christmas celebration
Fact: The Festival of Lights is a celebration for everyone, regardless of religious affiliation. Light is a common theme among many of the major religions of the world.  Winterhaven's Festival of Light is a gift to all.

our new normal

Since I've been back at work a lot of my regular customers have asked me how the adjustment is going and how the kids are doing. While the day to day can be very tiring, I look back and realize that we've come a long way. I had prepared myself for a difficult transition. I had read the blogs, the books, and was planning on night terrors, rejection, and difficultly connecting. And honestly its hard for me to share that she has done really well. She did reject me at first, but she now calls me mama and is especially cheerful when she greets me at the door when I pick her up. Bedtime can still be challenging, but she finds comfort in her bedtime routine.

I feel a sort of guilt that we didn't have a difficult transition. I marvel at how it seems she has accepted us as her parents. I know it is all by the grace of God (not that God's grace is only in positive things) that we have melded together as a family so quickly.

Our new normal is being a busy family of four. We have two, active, fun loving kids who love each other fiercely. Haneul still adores Beniah, desiring to be in his world. Beniah still craves alone time, especially alone time with mom or dad. Sometimes they drive each other crazy-but don't all siblings? It's beautiful really. (Remind me of that next time I look stressed because they are fighting!!)

help make adoption affordable

I don't typically push political issues on others but this I believe goes beyond politics. I hope you are in support of keeping systems in place to take care of children who are born into non-ideal situations. A great way for you, my pro-children friends, to walk the walk is by supporting adoption. We have a government that is not perfect but has done a great thing by offering adoption assistance to family's who welcome non-biological children into their family, this assistance is at risk of being eliminated if nothing is done. Please contact you Senators and Congressmen/women in support of HR 4373 and S 3616 and sign the petition below.

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/support-hr-4373-and-s-3616-help-make-adoption-affordable-keep-tax-credit-and-make-it-refundable/GknZZR2H

Thanks!

adventures in arizona: pumpkin patch at apple annies

Yes, I know its November. Forgive the late post. 

After having such a great time at Apple Annie's picking apples we decided to head back with Papa (my dad) to select some pumpkins. After I told him about our apple picking adventure he checked out the produce they offer and has been back several times. I also wanted to check out the produce they had to offer so we met there one Saturday morning.

the beautiful sunflowers

Papa with the kids

found one!

its a keeper

a gorgeous pumpkin bloom

here's one!

helping Papa with the cart

Papa loved their peppers

Whenever I tell him to smile he cocks his head...and sometimes glares up at me.  Let's hope its a phase..

Sweet ending-honey stick!

It was such a beautiful day and we enjoyed our pumpkin bread and corn we brought home. We also had roasted corn while there and that was super delicious. Thanks Arizona for another great adventure.

baby steps

On Saturday we had a fun night out with lots of friends. Happy hour followed up by games, our kind of night-we really had a blast and it was great to connect. We hadn't rsvp until the night before because while Haneul has done so well I was still concerned about leaving her with someone she didn't know. One of Dave's former volleyball players, who has watched Beniah in the past, came and watched the kids at our house (I think she was honored that she was the first sitter to watch her!). So far we've only left her at nursery at church and one other night with a family friend who shes been around a lot. When we leave, I make a point of saying "hug and a kiss" and good bye to both the kids-sneaking out has never done well for us. I thought she might cry when we left, but instead she gave us a slightly startled look when both Dave and I said, "bye bye.". Our sitter texted us midway through dinner to say "no tears so far!" and we were relieved.

That is, until bedtime came and we got a text, "Shes been crying for awhile." My heart stopped. We quickly said our good byes and I felt like Dave was taking his sweet time driving home. I ran upstairs and walked into her room. She was sitting on the sitter's lap and was gasping for air. She had stopped crying, but her heart was still beating quickly and each gasp for breath hurt my heart a little. She eased into my arms and slowly she relaxed. I reached for her current favorite book (Happy Hippo, Angry Duck) and she waited, while smiling, for me to read her favorite part ("can you sadly say, cluck cluck").

The past couple nights she has woke up more than usual and I feel like I hear more fear in her cry. (These reactions are typical compared to other adoptive families I've talked to recently.) But the silver lining in this heart break is that little by little her connection with us has grown.

...and one more (stories to melt your heart).

The LePeau's in Colorado

stories to melt your heart

Our agency, Holt International, is gearing up for National Adoption Month (which runs through November) and sent out links to their blog. As always, I was touched as I read stories of new waiting children, kids recently brought home, and recollections from adult adoptees.

As I read about a brother and sister in East Africa who are looking for a family to love them my heart melted. Jared, older brother to Gabby, has looked after his little sister since their mother passed away shortly after she was born. She is now 7 and he is 16. I gazed at their pictures, of course asked myself, "Is this something that God has for us?" (this question comes to my mind A LOT) Then I began thinking about their lives. Here is this child, who at 9 years old cared for his younger sister. nine. My heart was wrought thinking about how he had to grow up so quickly. They are just waiting for a family. I wonder what emotions ran through their hearts and heads as the person on the other side of the that lens said, "Ok, we are going to take some pictures to help find you a family. Smile."

...

Here is a story from an adult adoptee who explains why she has chosen to forgive her birth family. I love reading adult adoptee's thoughts as I hope they will guide me as I help Haneul walk through the many questions that she will ask as she grows up. While she explains how her adoption has made her question a lot of things, she says that she now honors her birth mother's choice to give her up. I loved this part the most, "My adopted parents are my parents, not my “adopted” parents. I have two mothers—one who gave me life and the other who let me live it." 

That quote brought to my mind the fact that Haneul was relinquished from her birth mother shortly after her birth. As we celebrated her second birthday I can't help but think about her birth mother in Korea. Somewhere I imagine her thinking about her decision and I wish that I could tell her that her sweet, joyful girl is safe and well loved.